Girl Poem

I shave my legs,

I sit down to pee.

And I can justify

any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,

but a beauty salon.

I can get a massage

without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,

I can pump my own gas.

Can talk to my friends,

about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,

and yes, it takes long.

At least I can admit,

to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,

at any cost.

And I don't have a problem,

admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,

an important date.

You just gotta deal with it,

I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,

with lots of gore.

Don't need instant replay,

to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,

I don't get jock itch.

And just cause I'm assertive,

Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,

Oh yeah, I can get her.

In your dreams, my dear,

I can do better!

Flowers are okay,

But jewelry's best.

Look at me you idiot...

Not at my chest????

I don't have a problem,

With Expressing my feelings.

I know when you're lying,

You look at the ceiling.

call me a GIRL ,

a BABE or a CHICK .

I am a WOMAN.

Get it?, you DICK!?!

(anon)