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Patrick's George Bush Impersonations

Bush Dummy


Impersonation No. 1

Patmac waddles up the middle of the room with his arms out like a penquin's flippers, and cranks his neck from side to side.


"Er, where's the microphone?"

Aide "Sir, that is the microphone."

"What, this? Oh, I thought it was a stick-shift. Funny place for a stick-shift, though, on a stage."

Aide "No, sir, it's not a stick-shift. It's a microphone."

"Is it? Then where's the stick-shift?"

Aide "Sir, Channel 24 is waiting."

"Are they? I gotta go get a pizza."

Aide "Sir, can we do the interview first and get a pizza later?"

"OK, but can I get a Pepsi?"

Aide "No, sir, no. You're on."

"Hello, America,"

Aide "Sir, this is London."

"My fellow Londonians, I just wanna tell ya we're gonna bommerize 'em. An smokem out. America is with you. Were are you? Where am I?"

Impersonation No. 2

The Bush Show:

George W Bush (The talkshow host)


Director: "Cue Camera One."


Bush rises from his seat and walks across the set.


Director: "Where you goin?"

Bush: "You said queue behind Camera One."

Director: "First guest, Oprah."


Bush's eyes widen


Bush: "Am I gonna be on Oprah?"

Director: "No, George; Oprah's coming on your show."

Bush: "I've got a show?"

Director: "George, this is it."

Bush: "Wow, can we sing songs?"

Director: "Well, no, George. On talkshows people normally talk. If they sang, then they'd be called singing shows."

Bush: "OK, but can we do that trick-thing, where you hide nickels under three beakers?"

Director: "No, George."


George looks disappointed.


Bush: "Can we?"

Director: "No, George."
Patrick Mackeown

About the author

Patrick Mackeown is the author of the highly recommended thriller novel The Expendability Doctrine. He was recently interviewed about his work by The Leicester Review of Books.