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The trouble with Gordon

By Patrick Mackeown

Poem: The trouble with Gordon (Brown)

Tags: poem, Gordon Brown

  • Title: The trouble with Gordon
  • Category: Poetry
  • Author: Patrick Mackeown
  • Posted: 19 May 2007

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The trouble with Gordon

Fleet Street trembles before Gordon.

Sleepless editors stir steaming, midnight Horlicks.

"Our presses will grind to a halt," they wail.

"What's to be done about Gordon?"


"His children are too young for Bristol flats,

Or bouts of inner-city inebriation.

His wife doesn't support suicide bombers,

Or have pointy hair. He's probably not gay,

Or bizarre. Our editorials will all be blank!"


Fleet Street trembles before Gordon.

Because, well, the trouble with Gordon, is,

That, well, he's just so Gordon!

Patrick Mackeown

About the author

Patrick Mackeown is the author of the highly recommended thriller novel The Expendability Doctrine. He was recently interviewed about his work by The Leicester Review of Books.