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How To Start A War

By Patrick Mackeown

satirical poem: How To Start A War

Tags: satirical poem, war, ironic

  • Title: How To Start A War
  • Category: Poetry
  • Author: Patrick Mackeown
  • Posted: 30 July 2006

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How To Start A War

Warfare details require cunning

One must be mindful of pretext

Find examples of grave misdoings

Plan carefully what happens next!


For invading Iraq, Google a PhD

When asked, why did you invade?

The student explained it, see?

Blame academia for errors made!


Reinhardt Heydrich invades Poland

He's always ready with excuses!

Dress SS men in Polish uniforms

Complain loudly of bogus abuses!


Invading China requires railways

A Manchurian Incident is needed

Calls do sound of erroneous delays

But make sure they are not heeded!


You now know everything that I do

Use only guile, cunning and deceit

Make sure large armies precede you

And, later, when in doubt, retreat!

Patrick Mackeown

About the author

Patrick Mackeown is the author of the highly recommended thriller novel The Expendability Doctrine. He was recently interviewed about his work by The Leicester Review of Books.