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Waiter Stories

By Patrick Mackeown

funny short story: waiter

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  • Title: True Stories about me as a waiter in Cambridge
  • Category: Short Stories
  • Author: Patrick Mackeown
  • Posted: 25 June 2006

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True Stories From My Days As A Cambridge Waiter

Did I tell you that I once met a famous rock-star?



When I worked in a hotel, someone told me to take a club-sandwich to Eric Clapton in the main bar. I took the meal down, on a tray, as you do. And I shouted out...

"Someone told me this food was for Eric Clapton, yeah, right!"

And a guy at the bar replied.

"I'm Eric Clapton."

I don't work there any more.





Rock-band's sexy romp



The establishment that I worked in was right opposite the Corn Exchange Venue, where rock bands performed regularly, and their musicians stayed in our hotel. Anyway, a friend of mine, who did room-service, asked me to cover a shift of hers because she was being sexually harassed. I said, "OK, nobody harasses me!"


So I took her food and drink order into the room where several people were cavorting in a king-size bed. And I said, "here's the order. Which room number do you want me to put in on?"


And one of the guys replied, "We don't want it on a room number. We only called for room-service so we could get that red-headed waitress into the bed with us!"


So I sat outside on the landing and ate the food myself.

Patrick Mackeown

About the author

Patrick Mackeown is the author of the highly recommended thriller novel The Expendability Doctrine. He was recently interviewed about his work by The Leicester Review of Books.

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